If I Stay
by Oslock
Summary: Rapunzel thought the hardest decision she will ever have to make was whether she was going to full fill her musical dreams at Julliard or be with her rock star boyfriend Flynn. But in an instant, all those options are taken away from her, except one. If she lives. WARNING: This fic contains spoilers, if you have not seen the film and are planning to don't read this!
1. Chapter 1

**This story is set up between the present and flashbacks just to be clear.**

When I wake up, there is a thin layer of snow covering my back garden.

In any other place that would just mean that it is the beginning of winter.

Not in Corona. In Corona, a thin layer of snow is the beginning of a blizzard.

I hop out of bed and change into my normal clothes, faded jeans, a white top and a purple cardigan.

As I walk down the stairs, the smell of strong coffee hits me, so I know the rest of my family is already up.

"Hey sweetie! Wanna cup-o-coffee?" my mum beams as I enter the kitchen.

"Sure, yes please." I answer flatly.

"Mums making pancakes for breakfast!" Pascal, my eight year old brother, squeals in delight.

"With chocolate chips!" mum adds from behind as I take a seat opposite Pascal at our small table.

"Morning everyone!" dad walks in and plops the morning newspaper in front of me.

He kisses mum on the cheek before turning on the radio.

"Attention everyone! To all you kids out there, you'll be happy to know, that... It's a snow day! All schools across Corona have been shut for today!"

Pascal stands up, eyes wide as he stares at the radio.

"WOO HOO!" he screams and runs out of his seat.

"Schools out for summer!" as he starts singing, dad catches him in his arms.

"Oh no, you did _not_ just sing Alice Cooper! Sing the Ramones!" dad insists.

"Schools out forever!" Pascal ignores his plea.

"Have we no standards?" he lets go of Pascal and rubs his forehead dramatically.

My dad used to be in a band, but when Pascal came along, he realized he had to start acting like an adult. He got rid of his bike leathers and tacky clothing and traded it for smart, casual clothing, whilst getting a job at my rival high school.

I assume that if the school is shut, dad is off the hook too.

So that leaves mum, who works at Tesco.

"Well if you guys are having the day off, so am I!" mum declares.

"And how are you gonna do that?" dad asks sarcastically.

"Well I can't go in if i'm sick can I?" she begins to cough and have a dry throat.

When she's done, she serves the slightly burnt pancakes to us.

"Pascal's going to be bouncing of the walls!" I tease as mum serves him a cup of coffee.

"Don't worry, we switched him to decaf." mum calls back.

My eyes widen.

"As long as your not switching me to decaf!"

"No hunny _that_ would be child abuse." my dad jokes.

"There's a great picture of your young man in there!" mum walks back up to me.

"Yeah, it's probably the most we've seen of him in the last few weeks." dad tries to sound innocent.

There on to me, I can see from the corner of my eye that they are exchanging glances.

The picture is of my boyfriend, Flynn.

He's in a band called Shooting Star, which is earning him lots of fame and publicity, which is good, but also bad.

I play the cello, and have also auditioned for Julliard. It went ok, I guess. Which is why I spend most of my time indoors, wondering if the letter will ever arrive.

"So what are we going to do today?" my mums voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

"We could go visit Henry, Willow and the baby?" she continues.

"Or go visit my parents?" dad suggests.

I stand up, taking my cup of coffee with me.

"I don't know, there's this really tricky part of the Beethoven Sonata that I have to work on." I walk out the kitchen and to the hallway, staring at the letterbox before continuing "and well, the letters were sent on friday."

Mum and dad walk up behind me.

"Okay, I can't watch this. Look who knows what time the mail is even going to arrive today? Come on you have to come with us!" dad elbows me in the back.

"Whether you get in or not, you're going to college anyway, how many snow days are we going to have together?" mum adds.

"Are you guys trying to guilt trip me right now?" I ask.

"We'll let you pick the music?"

"And bribery!" I exclaim.

"Kid, guilt and bribery is the glue that has held parents and children together for years, please don't fight tradition." dad remarks sarcastically.

"Fine." I give in.

When everyone is in the car, the fight begins over who controls the radio.

"I want SpongeBob!" Pascal protests.

"I've got my Ipod for you son!" Dad passes back his Ipod to Pascal.

"We'll listen to a couple of rock songs before turning over to the... classical station." mum stutters dramatically.

After listening to a couple of Ramones and Beatles songs, dad switches to the classical station.

And what do you know, the very piece I am meant to practice is playing.

I stare out of the window as Beethoven plays on.

Isn't it amazing how life is one thing, and then, in an instant it becomes something else?

Like here I am, Rapunzel, the girl who thinks about the cello and Flynn and whether a letter is going to come through the door.

And just like that.

I have no idea what hit us, but whatever it was, it was heavy and _extremely _strong.

It rips the engine apart, tears off the doors and flips the car across the road.

I first started playing the cello when I was ten.

Our school had a new stock of instruments, most kids went for the recorders and saxophones, not me.

With a punk rock family like mine, you'd have expected me to pick up a guitar, but I caught sight of the old, untouched cello in the corner and started to play with it.

My parents were utterly shocked when they saw me plucking my fingers across it, my dad teased that I might have been switched at birth, I knew he meant it as a joke, but sometimes I worry it might be true.

For starters, I look nothing like my family, they all have brown hair, whereas I have blonde.

But when I came to think about it,only me and mum have the same coloured eyes, green. Pascal has brown, and dad has blue, though we suspect he inherited it from dads mum.

Other then that, i'm like the odd one out.

At first I rented a cello from my teacher, Professor Rachel. But after my first recital, and when my parents realized this hobby wasn't going away, they bought me a cello of my very own when I was twelve.

I still have it till this day, and still use it literally every day.

_Am I dead?_

I have to be dead, the car was shredded apart, no one can survive that.

So how come i'm breathing?

It takes me a couple of seconds to manage to get my eyes open.

I'm on my back, that I know.

I move my fingers around, before scrambling to my feet.

I'm still in the woods, standing on the snow covered pathway.

As I look down, I notice i'm barefoot and that my clothes still look brand new, shouldn't they be covered in blood.

I take in my surroundings, an ambulance is here.

Someone is looking after the person who I assume is the driver of the lorry we crashed into.

"Excuse me, what's going on?" I ask a fire fighter who runs straight past me.

I follow him behind the ambulance.

Our car is upside down, totally wrecked and on fire. There is a group of three fireman trying to put it out.

Where's my family?

I run past the car, to discover a medic putting someone into a black body bag.

My heart stops, who is in there? Tell me it's not one of my family.

"Mum? Pascal? Dad?" my voice breaks as I look round.

"Can you help me?" I ask a paramedic, who like the fire fighter, ignores me.

"Will someone please help me!" I scream.

I continue to roam round, and that's when I notice it.

There is a group of four paramedics hovering around one body.

As I peep over their shoulders, I realize, it's _me._

My hair looks brown from what I presume is blood, my clothes have been stained and there are deep gashes on my legs from where my trousers ripped open.

I turn my back to the sight.

"No. Wake up! WAKE UP!" I try pulling on my hair, pinching the back of my hand, but nothing works.

Why am I like this? How do I get out of this state?

A paramedics voice breaks my thoughts.

"We have an eighteen year old with a heartbeat! Get her over to the hospital now!" a woman's voice screams.

"What about the others?" a man asks her.

"We'll treat the father here, then get him over, the young boy will be right behind you!" another interrupts.

"Quick! It looks like she's in a coma!" the woman yells.

"Coma? What do you mean coma?" I run after them as they lift my body onto a stretcher and into the ambulance.

"Just hang in there baby!" I get a good look at the now, she has raven black hair and bluish-grey eyes.

"Gothel, you go with her, i'll go with the boy!" I hear someone call to her.

As she climbs into the ambulance, so do I.

All I can do is watch as i'm driven away from the scene.


	2. Chapter 2

The surgery has been going on for hours and they're no where near finished.

At some points I had to turn my back, feeling sick at the sight of my own blood.

I need to find my family.

I run out of the surgery room, and out toward one of the maps that are on the wall, printed on a big glass sheet.

In the corner of my eye, I see a familiar face.

"Ariel?"

I recognise the bright red hair.

"Ariel!" I yell, even though I know she can't hear me.

Chasing after her, I spot her dad right behind her.

It looks as though he has been crying.

She continues to run into a waiting room, i'm stunned to see that my grand-parents are their.

It was thanks to my grandma that I auditioned for Julliard in the first place.

I had been practising one night, and thanks to the super thin walls, they could hear me.

When I came down for dinner, my gran complimented on how good I was.

"Have you ever thought about Julliard? With a talent like that, you could get in in a heartbeat."

"I don't know, it's miles away."

"There is such thing as cars." mum commented sarcastically.

"You should be getting out there, using your gift." gran added.

"But my whole life is _here. _Everyone I know is _here._" I replied.

She didn't give up pushing me, so after giving it some thought, I decided to send them a recording of me playing.

I never told Flynn, I was worried about how he would react, and it was pointless telling him until I knew I had an actual audition, which there was a very slim chance that I would.

"Ariel, you got our messages." my gran wraps Ariel in a hug, to which she returns.

"We got here as quick as we could. How are they?" Ariel looks as though she's on the verge of a panic attack.

Her dad places a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

I can see his face clearly now, he has been crying, his eyes are red and puffed.

He's probably been crying for dad, they have been good friends for years.

"We don't know." grans voice breaks and fresh tears fall down her face.

Gramps puts a hand on her shoulder reassuringly.

"Can we ask at the desk? I tried to ring Flynn, but it went straight to voice mail, so I had to leave messages." Ariel asks and informs.

I know Flynn is performing at a concert with his band.

He's at a place on the border of Corona.

Usually he sound checks everything before going to meet me outside.

Not this time, he knows I can't go to this one, I made an excuse that I had to practice the cello.

I felt extremely guilty about it, but the thing is, I don't mix well with his crowd. I'm the exact opposite of them, they all wear dark, Gothic clothing, while I wear bright clothing.

Don't get me wrong, I love Flynns music, it's just the socializing thing that's awkward, so I usually result in hanging at the back.

I wonder if he's performing now? If he is, he probably won't be able to come here until tomorrow.

"Ok sweetie. Lets ask behind the desk." Gran directs Ariel toward the desk.

"Excuse me, i'm Patrick, my son Denny Moore and his two kids arrived earlier, we were just wondering if you can tell us how their doing." Gramps stutters to a women with brown, straight hair that has a white streak going through it, pulled back into a bun, and brown eyes behind the desk.

"Ah, the Moore family. I'm Elinor, the social worker for your case. Rapunzel and Denny are on the surgery table as we speak." she informs with a Scottish accent.

"And the boy, Pascal?" Triton, Ariels dad pushes on.

"He is conscious." she looks over to him.

I let out a huge sigh of relief, as if I have held my breath for twenty minutes.

He's ok, he's alive.

What about mum? There's been no word on her.

And then I remember, the paramedic putting someone into a body bag.

No. It can't be her. She's the toughest person I know, she can't be dead.

Pascal, I need to find Pascal.

I run back toward the map, looking franticly for the children's wing.

As soon as I do, I run away from the meeting room.

There's a large glass corridor that connects one building to the other.

I jump out of the way of someone, not wanting to test whether I can walk through people yet.

As I crash into the glass window, a figure catches my eye.

"Flynn! You came!" I breath, watching his figure get closer to the entrance.

He is running through crowds, trying his best not to crash into people. And failing.

I never knew he could run that fast, his leather jacket is flying at the back, and his wild locks have fallen into his face, partly covering his worried expression.

I continue to run toward the children's wing as he enters the hospital.

After a few minutes of looking in each room, I finally find Pascal.

How he is conscious is a mystery to me, but at least he's alive.

I slide through the door behind a nurse, Willow is already with him, though that doesn't surprise me, seeing as how she works here.

"Hey Pascal! I'm your nurse, Nancy. I think you should get some rest, you've had a hectic day!" she beams down at him, before signalling with her eyes for Willow to follow her.

I walk to the top of his bed.

"Hey, I know you can't hear me, which is partly good 'cause I have to be quick. I will always be here for you, i'll be like your second mum, but in return, you have to keep fighting. We can get through this together." I kiss him on the forehead before running out the door, checking first to make sure no one is around.

I go as fast as I can back to the ICU.

My body is now in a proper room, tubes coming out of my mouth and drips connected to the back of my hand.

I stand over my unresponsive body.

"Listen, there is an eight year old boy who has no mother, you can't leave him. You have to keep fighting." I tell myself.

All of a sudden there is a smack on the glass window that has 'ICU' printed on it.

It's Flynn!

I run out of my room, (luckily there are no doors) and place my hands over his on the other side of the glass.

Obviously he doesn't look down at me, just continues to gaze wide eyed into my room, squinting at my body that is plugged into all sorts of things.

He begins to bang his hand on the glass, as if knocking on a door.

"Rapunzel! Rapunzel!"

"Excuse me sir, get away from there!" a nurses voice interrupts, but he ignores her.

A male nurse who is slightly bigger then him, pulls him away and stands in front of him.

"What are you doing, let me in!" Flynn protests, trying to make his way in through the automatic doors, but the female nurse blocks him.

"You can't go in there!" she yells.

"What do you mean I can't go in there this is bullshit!" he snaps.

"Only immediate family can go in!" the man yells back.

"Immediate family." Flynn suddenly looks as though he's going to faint.

"Just let him in!" I know no one can hear me, but for some reason I still yell.

"Flynn! You got my messages!" Ariels comes from around the corner, and she wraps her arms around his neck to prevent him from falling.

I notice the woman nurse has made the automatic doors open so I slip through.

"They won't let me in." he growls.

"We'll come up with something. Sorry about him." Ariel apologises, but I can sense the sarcasm in her voice.


	3. Chapter 3

I never quite understood why a guy like Flynn would be interested in a girl like me.

He was the coolest guy in probably the whole school, I am one of the nerdiest girls in our year.

But he was also one of those people who you can meet and know that they are the person their meant to be already.

Even though no one outside of Corona had ever heard of his band, he already was somebody.

Everyone would stare at him as he walked down the corridors, which didn't seem to bother him.

He told me that was how he first met (technically saw) me.

I hadn't realized he was there as I was to engrossed in playing my cello, it was Ariel who told me first.

Flynn's side of the story, was that he was walking down the hallway, when he heard me playing so decided to watch.

Ariel thought he was stalking me so intervened, she let him off the hook when he explained he was just listening.

"That Flynn rocker, dude, guy was totally checking you out." she struggled to pick the right name.

"Flynn Rider saw me geeking out!" I pretended to panick.

"He saw you blissing out, and he was totally into it!" she started to nod her head coolly.

"No Ariel, he isn't into it!" I protested.

As we walked out of the classroom, Flynn was standing with his band mates, Naveen, Shang and Cinderella, infront of the lockers.

I could see in the corner of my eye that Ariel was rooting in her bag for something, I knew what.

"Don't take his picture Ariel!" I complained, but it was to late.

She had spun round and sneaked a quick snap of Flynn.

I didn't bother to turn and see if he had noticed her.

"He'll never know." she pretended to be all sly and creepy.

"You can't just stalk someone in the hallway!" I told her.

Before we could press the matter, Eric, Ariels boyfriend had already walked up and they were currently eating each others faces.

I rolled my eyes and turned my back to them.

After about ten seconds, I looked over my shoulder, they were still going at it.

"We all get it, you're in love so move along!" thankfully the laughed and broke apart.

"I can always count on you to tell us when we're going to far, can't I Rapunzel?" Eric asked sarcastically, after he sobered up.

"Yes you can. You should pay me!" I pretended to get all excited.

"We should. It could come in handy." Ariel turned to Eric.

I felt like I was going to throw up from the details and mushyness.

That nurse, Miss Gothel was it? Is currently checking over my charts to see how I am doing.

I have a collapsed lung and minor brain contusions.

When she puts the chart at the foot of my bed again, instead of leaving, she walks to the foot of my bed and moves some of my hair out of my face.

"I take it that was your boyfriend back there? He seems to be quite the romantic." she smiles then goes all serious.

"Here's the secret baby, all this surgery, all these machines, they're not what's gonna bring you back. If you live, if you die, it's all up to you, so whatever fight you have in you you've gotta pull it out now." I was starting to like her, the fact that she talks _to _me not _about _me, but that's just left me with more questions, to which I can't have the answers.

I follow her out of the ICU and head towards the waiting room where my family is.

I have quite the crowd now.

My cousins who I hardly ever see are here, Anna and Elsa.

They're both chewing their bottom lips nervously, and Anna is tightly holding hands with a boy with scruffy blonde hair who I assume is her boyfriend.

What was his name? Christopher? Kristoff?

Eric is with Ariel, and gran and gramps are talking to Ariel's dad, Triton.

Flynn, however is standing against a wall that leads off into a corridor, it's on a corner so no one can see him.

I stand in front of him, his head is tilted back a bit and he has his eyes clamped shut, his lips in a thin line.

Ariel and Eric start to talk to him.

"I've had enough of just standing around, waiting. I need to see her!" Flynn whines like a five year old.

"I know you do Flynn but..." Eric tries to put a comforting hand on his shoulder but he shrugs it off and storms down the corridor.

Ariel sighs in defeat.

"I'll go talk to him." she tells Eric before following after Flynn.

I follow behind her.

Flynn is on a large balcony, looking over Corona.

I stand so Flynn is in the middle of me and Ariel, he is tearing up and his bottom lip is shaking.

"There you are! I thought you were meant to be at a concert, wasn't it meant to be a huge break for you guys?" I can tell Ariel is trying to be friendly.

"Oh yeah, like I give a shit!" Flynn snaps.

For a moment, I feel annoyed that he snapped at her, she was only trying to be friendly, but then I see the guilty look on his face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." Flynn starts but is interrupted.

"No, it's ok." Ariel interrupts, I can tell she understands and so I am very thankful.

"Why did this happen? They went out for a _drive_! How can that end up like this?" Flynn is struggling to hold back his tears now, I feel like someone has punched me in the gut seeing him like this.

"It's just how life works, no one could have stopped it, not you, not even them." Ariel is trying to be reassuring, but even she knows she can't give that much good advice.

"She's too young to die, I can't loose her." Flynn doesn't look at Ariel as he says this.

"Neither can I." Ariel adds.

They go back inside and meet Eric.

Whenever I went to Flynn's shows, I would always hang in the back.

After he came off stage and finished signing autographs, he would wrap his arms around my waist and try to pull me towards the dance floor.

I would swat him away and go back into the shadows.

"Don't you like me any more?" he asked once, he tried to make it sound like a joke, but I could hear the hurt in his voice.

"No, it's just... I don't think I should come to your shows any more."

"Why not?" he didn't bother to hide the hurt in his voice this time.

"I always stop you from basking in the spotlight, you waste your time worrying about me."

"I don't care about the spotlight, I want to spend my time with you." he tried to reassure me.

After that I didn't go to his shows any more.

Until Halloween, he persuaded me to come as it was going to be different from all his other shows.

The day before, mum helped me find a costume.

Flynn said he was going to dress as Beethoven, so I decided to dress as a punk-rocker girl.

"Why this?" mum asked.

"Well, he's dressing as someone from my music world, so I wanna return the favour." I explained.

I wasn't wearing my costume when we took Pascal trick or treating.

Pascal was dressed as a freaky looking chameleon, and Flynn was in his Beethoven get up, which consisted of a white shirt with ruffles at the front, a purple coat that was extra long at the back, black trousers and smart black shoes, I was in creases over his white haired, fluffy wig.

When Pascal had filled his bucket to the top, we headed home.

I told Flynn I would meet him there, much to his dismay.

Mum helped me slip into my outfit.

I was wearing a short, black pencil skirt, a leopard print long sleeve shirt with another black strapped shirt over it, completed with black tights and my mums high heeled leather boots. To top it off I put on a pixie cut brunette wig and dark eye liner.

When I arrived, Flynn was waiting outside, leaning against the wall.

He didn't recognize me as I walked up to him.

Not until he caught my gaze and looked me in the eye.

"Blondie! Is that you?" he seemed taken aback by my wig.

That night, I joined in with the dancing and singing, talking to everyone.

"Rapunzel! Is that you!" Snow, Cinderella's girlfriend, wrapped me in a hug.

"Hey Snow!" I yelled over the music.

"Come dance with me!"

She pulled me off my stool and toward the dance floor.

We barged our way to the front, so Cinderella and Flynn could see us.

Flynn was putting his heart and soul into his singing, but when he caught sight of me, he seemed to put more into it.

Snow was holding my hands and moving our arms around in circles back and forth, whilst jumping up and down.

When Shooting star finished we hung back while they signed autographs, before going towards our other halves.

Flynn kissed me long and hard.

"I just need to help pack up then we can leave." Flynn yelled over the music.

"No. Lets stay a little longer." I yelled back.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

We stayed until the place had to close for the night, dancing with each other the entire time.

"So do you like me like this?" I asked Flynn as we walked out of the club, his arm around my shoulder.

"Of course I like you." was his reply.

"No I mean like this."

"Compared to what?" he sounded genuinely confused.

We reached his car and I leaned against it.

"Compared to the normal Rapunzel!" I was getting a little annoyed now.

"What do you mean the _'normal Rapunzel'_?" he asked doing air brackets.

"I mean the way I am tonight. Do you like me like this. With the hair and the make-up and the clothing." I moved my hands down my face and body to point out what I meant.

"Rapunzel, I don't care about your clothes. Sure you dressed sexier, and you're a brunette, but, the you who you are now, is the same you I was in love with yesterday, the same you i'll be in love with tomorrow."

My breath caught in my throat as he said this.

He said it with complete sincerity.

I moved my hand to the back of his head and pulled him down into a kiss.

Flynn ran his hands through the wig, slightly pulling it out of place, it came to a point where he pulled it off so he could run his hands through my real hair.

The next day, me and Ariel went to our favourite café so we could catch up.

At this point, we hadn't spent most of our weekends together like we usually did, due to having boyfriends.

"So Flynn, is it awesome?" Ariel a had a goofy grin on her face.

"Yeah I guess so." Ariel could tell something was on my mind.

"But?" she pressed on.

"For starters, I hate going to his shows."

"You don't like his music?" she looked a little surprised.

"No I love his music! It's amazing! And when he gets off stage I just wanna, lick the side of his face." I admitted awkwardly.

Let me explain, when he finishes a song, he has a clean sheet of sweat on him, the type I would bottle and wear as perfume if I could, and i'm sometimes tempted to lick the side of his face, not that I ever will.

"How's you and Eric?" I flip the subject.

"All good. Not that I wanna lick him or anything." she jokes.

We both burst into hysterics.

Everyone is chatting away to each other, so I just walk back to my room.

Someone on a stretcher is being moved into the room next to mine.

"Dad, thank god!" I breath a sigh of relief.

But as I get a better look, I realize it's not my dad.

I turn to one of the doctors, who is talking to Nurse Gothel.

"What did you do with him?" I ask, not expecting an answer.

"Her dad died on the table, and her brother, he just couldn't keep fighting. That kids waking up an orphan, if she wakes up." tears fill in both their eyes.

I feel like someone has repeatedly punched me in the gut.

My legs buckle up from underneath me.

"No!" I start screaming.

I can't do this any more. I pull at my hair, pinch myself, it still doesn't work.

"I WANT IT TO BE OVER!"


	4. Chapter 4

**I have just looked back at the way this has been set up, can I just say sorry, I have been putting large spaces or stars when the story changes between a flashback and the present, but for some reason it hasn't shown on the real thing.**

Suddenly a high pitch noise roars through the ICU.

It's my heart monitor, i've done something to make my case worse.

Doctors and nurses rush to my bed and start to unplug me, and shift me onto a stretcher.

Flynn must have heard the noise, because him, Ariel and Eric have run round the corner and are watching my body being wheeled into a lift.

Nurse Gothel is leaning over me.

"Ok baby, we can only take you part of the way, after that it's all you." she pants.

What does that mean?

For the first time today, I question myself.

Why am I here in the state that i'm in? Or, how do I get out of it if I wanted to?

Though now i'm not so sure if I want to live.

Everyone I love is gone, how can I live without them?

What would it be like to wake up an orphan? To never talk to mum as we do the dishes, or play hide and seek with Pascal? Never get advice from dad?

"Rapunzel." I hear Flynn breath from behind me.

He stands in front of the lift, as if he is going to try and climb in, but a nurse shoves him away.

By the way Flynn scowls at him, I can tell that he probably wasn't going to attempt it.

Eric grabs Flynn's shoulder and steers him away.

Xxx

I often wondered if mum and dad were upset I didn't end up more like them.

I tried to, but i'm not bullet proof like my mum, or a natural born son writer like my dad.

Though when dad was in his band 'Lantern Light', I used to go to all his shows when I was a baby.

It was my nursery, mum would make her way to the front so dad could see us, and i'd have to wear these huge yellow headphones so my ears weren't damaged by the noise level.

Mum wasn't in a band, but like dad, she loved punk music.

Even as I was growing up, dad was still in his band, and they still had wild times.

But when mum discovered she was pregnant with Pascal, they realized they had to start acting like grown ups.

So dad quit his band, much to everyone's surprise, and got a job at the local high school.

Mum managed to get a job at the local estate agents.

I loved Pascal from the moment I first saw him, my parents were worried I might be jealous of not being the only child any more, but I wasn't.

He was born with a full head of blonde curly locks, that I was forever nuzzling my face into.

I was still waiting for him to reach that faze where he would swat me away and whine I was

embarrassing him.

Now that will never happen.

How am I supposed to decide this?

How can I stay without mum, dad and Pascal? But how can I leave without Flynn?

How does this all work?

If I were to say _'I wanna wake up' _would I wake up right now?

But, I heard the nurses words _'If you live, if you die, it's all up to you,'_, I decide this, I know that now.

And that terrifies me more then anything else that has happened today.

Xxx

They have re-drained my lung, and have plugged me into even more tubes.

I forced myself to watch as my social worker, Elinor, broke the news of dad and Pascal to everyone.

Gran wailed in horror, gramps wrapped his arm round her to comfort her.

Ariel buried her head in Eric's neck while Triton hugged them both.

Anna, Elsa and Kristoff had a sort of group hug, Anna was crying uncontrollably.

I felt sorry for Flynn the most, no one was there for him.

He was crying silently before collapsing onto the wall, running his hands through his hair.

I felt sick watching him like that, he had developed a close bond with Pascal over the last year and a half, he had said he was like the brother he never had.

When the hugging time is over, Ariel and Eric walk over to Flynn.

"Screw waiting, I need to see her now!" Flynn presses.

"I'm with you on that." Ariel agrees.

"I'll stay here, you guys try and work something out." Eric suggests.

Ariel and Flynn sneak toward the ICU.

They stop as they get to the corner, looking toward my room.

"What are we gonna do?" Ariel whispers, not that there is much need to.

"I don't know, can you distract that guard?" Flynn asks, referring to a broad shouldered man, probably twice the size of Ariel, standing in front of the automatic doors.

"I've got this one covered." Ariel smiles slyly.

She walks up to the guard.

"Excuse me! There is this women in the second floor bathrooms, she's gone into labour, and it is really unsanitary, we need someone down there right now!" she screams at the guard.

The guard hesitates for a moment.

"WE NEED SOMEONE DOWN THERE RIGHT NOW!" she screams even louder.

He quickly runs toward the stairs, followed by Ariel, who gives a quick gesture for Flynn to take this chance.

He moves toward the doors, ignoring the moody nurse from earlier who tells him to stop.

I run ahead of him and stand at the top of my bed.

Flynn isn't far behind, he reaches out toward my forehead, the only area clear of tubes and cuts.

But as he reaches out, he is pulled back.

"Get away from her!" the doctor from the lift has placed Flynn's arms behind his back and is dragging him away.

"No! Leave him alone!" I scream.

"What are you? Get off me!" Flynn yells at him.

Outside the ICU, the guard Ariel tricked is holding onto her arm, causing her to look rather annoyed.

"I tried to be nice!" the moody nurse points a bony finger at Flynn.

Ariel and Flynn yank their arms out of the death grips.

"Yeah right, you've been a horrible witch ever since we arrived!" Ariel spits at her.

Before anything else can happen, Ariel steers Flynn back to the waiting room.

Flynn tries to protest, but Ariel shoots him a threatening glare.

"Back to work!" the moody nurse snaps to all the doctors and nurses who stopped to watch the commotion.


	5. Chapter 5

I didn't tell Flynn about Julliard until I knew I had an audition.

The mail arrived early that day, so I hastily went through it, looking for the cream envelope.

My heart skipped a beat as I got to the letter I was looking for.

I practically ripped it open, and scanned through it.

I got an audition.

As soon as my dad got home from work, and my mum from the super market, I went to the House of Rock where Flynn and his band practice.

He was too busy playing his music that he didn't notice me.

In that moment, I lost all my courage and walked out the door.

I was half way down the street when Flynn came calling after me.

"Blondie! Wait!" he came panting down the street.

"Sorry I didn't see you there." he apologized whilst catching his breath,

"It's okay, great song by the way."

"Thanks, it's uh, something new i've been working on."

I could only nod.

"Are you ok?" Flynn asked, worry evident in his voice.

"I um, have to tell you something..." my voice trailed off.

"What is it?" Flynn asked, taking another step towards me.

"I, have an audition for Julliard." I closed my eyes as I said it, not wanting to see if he would be angry or keep it together.

"Oh..." he raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"I sent a recording over a couple of months ago, but they just got back to me." I continued.

"Congratulations. Yo Yo Ma better watch his back." he laughed and smiled, but I could tell it was forced.

The next day, I went to one of his concerts about ten minutes before it finished.

"Didn't think i'd see you here." Flynn greeted me, guitar case in hand.

"I need to talk to you about something."

Before we could talk, a rocker girl wearing a low hanging black tank top, came from behind Flynn, coughing to get his attention.

"Can I have your autograph?" she handed him a pen.

Flynn looked at her, expecting a piece of paper, but she just pointed to her breasts, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

I hardly ever get jealous, I just don't see the point in it, but for some reason I was a bit annoyed at him, so I turned to walk outside where they park their van.

Five minutes later, the band walked out, all drinking water out of plastic bottles and laughing.

"Rapunzel, hey!" Cinderella wrapped me in a hug, followed by Shang and Naveen, who held me in a group hug until I was nearly suffocating.

"Let her breath!" Flynn walked out, he sounded more annoyed then joking.

"Ok Mr Grumpy! Do you know what's wrong with him? He's been moody ever since last night." Cinderella asked me.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and shrugged, not knowing what to say.

When everyone else was in the van and out of earshot, Flynn walked up to me.

"Why did you leave? I turned round and you were gone." Flynn asked, I couldn't sense any sarcasm in his voice.

"Because as a women, I didn't really want to see another girl getting an autograph across her boobs." was my sarcastic reply.

"If you didn't want to see it, why did you come?" Flynn asked.

"Where are you guys going?" I tried to change the subject, noticing that they had packed more stuff than usual.

"We have a couple of gigs."

"How long for?" I couldn't help but ask.

"A week, maybe two, it's hard to tell. Is that a problem?" he placed his guitar in the back of the van.

"It's not a problem, it's just we had plans remember, for my birthday dinner thing." I mumbled the last part.

"Oh sorry I forgot."

"No it's ok, I just wish you told me." I said it without thinking.

"Oh like you told _me _about Julliard!" Flynn snapped.

"Do we have to refer that to this..."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?" Flynn yelled.

"Maybe because I am terrified of losing you!" I snapped back.

He hesitated on the spot for a moment.

"Well, you do your thing, and i'm gonna do mine." he walked round the van, toward the passenger door.

"No, you can not just leave it at that!" I took a step in his direction, still leaving a large space between us.

"What? Did you think we were still gonna be fine, have you ever had a long distant relationship Rapunzel? It's bullshit! Open your eyes for Christ sake!"

I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it and swallowed the lump that had formed again.

With that, he just turned, got in the van and left.

I didn't cry till I got home, after running upstairs to my bedroom and shutting the door.

Flynns words roamed my mind.

As much as I hated to admit it, he was right.

If I go to Julliard, it's unlikely our relationship will survive, but then again Flynn is always leaving Corona for gigs that last to a maximum of three weeks.

The first week went by slowly.

After I got home one day, the house was completely empty, so I went straight to my room to put my Cello away, only to find my room was already occupied.

By Flynn.

He turned round as he heard me enter the room.

"Hey." he smiled.

"Hi, what are you doing here, I thought you were at a gig?" I leant my cello against my bed.

"We're free for the day, so I thought i'd come down for the day." he took a step toward me.

"What are you doing _here_ Flynn, I mean in my room?"

"Look i'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"You can't just walk out of my life, come back and expect everything to be ok!" I snap, suddenly feeling angry.

"I didn't mean what I said!" he croaks, tell me he's not about to cry.

"The people I love have a habit of walking out on me, I was afraid I was gonna lose you too!" Flynn walks toward me.

"You're not gonna lose me, Flynn for god sake, I love you!"

"I love you too." he replies softly, looking up toward my ceiling, as if trying to point something out.

I follow his gaze, my eyes widen as I take in the sight.

There are a million pictures taped to my ceiling, forming an even bigger picture, of angels in nappies flying around holding instruments, the background is a deep red.

"What's that?" I ask not taking my eyes off the sight.

"The studio where you audition for Julliard, that's the ceiling, I put it up there." He explains.

"It's intense." I look down at him.

"I know, I figured if you look at it every night, it won't seem so scary when you get there." He grins from ear to ear.

"Thank you." I smile back.

"I also have this…" he walks toward me, digging his hand in his pocket and pulling out a small box wrapped in brown paper.

"Well at least I know the papers yours." I tease as he hands me the box.

"Just open it." Flynn laughs.

As I unwrap the paper, a small black box is revealed, throwing the paper on my bed to help empty my hands, I open the box.

Inside is a silver bracelet, there are two charms, one is a cello, the other is a guitar that are joined at the top.

"I saw this in a shop window, and thought it was a perfect symbol of us." Flynn gently takes the bracelet out of the box, throwing it on the bed, and hooks it round my right wrist.

He runs his thumb over the cool metal of the charms, I laugh as he cups his hands around mine, brings them up to his mouth and begins to blow warm air in them.

"What?" his voice echoes in our hands.

"We do have heating in this house you know."

He puts our hands down, and kisses me hard on the lips.

I hadn't really realized how much I missed him until now, until we were actually kissing.

Xxx

We're back to square one.

Everyone is in the waiting room, crying silently into another person's shoulder.

My social worker, Elinor, strides into the room, making everyone stand up and walk towards her.

"Is it possible for us to see her?" Gramps asks the question on everyone's mind.

"The nurses have agreed that you can start visiting her." She replies.

"Can we go first?" Gran buts in.

"Of course, follow me."  
Gran and Gramps sit on opposite sides of the bed.

Gramps doesn't say anything, he just stares at my pale face and the tube that is down my throat, breathing for me.

Gran on the other hand, is jabbering on about the flowers she is growing.

After about ten minutes, Gran gets up and leaves, but Gramps stays.

He stares at me for what feels like forever.

"Do you remember when your dad quit the band? I know I never really told him but, I was as shocked as anyone. When I asked him _why _he quit, he told me never to tell anyone, but I think you should hear it…"

He takes a deep breath before continuing.

"It turns out, when he sold his drum kit, he used the money to buy you that cello. He didn't want you to know, in case you felt guilty."  
I thought dad quit the band to become a better father (even though he was a great one already), he told me he sold the drums to clear more space.

"Now here's the thing, I want you to keep fighting, I want it more than anything I have ever wanted in my life, and I understand that with everybody gone it might be too hard for you to keep fighting, but I want you to live. So if you need to go, don't be afraid to let go, I will understand." He sobs, his tears falling onto the bed sheets and in my hair.

"Thank you." I wish he could hear me, so he knows how thankful I am for giving me the strength to go.


	6. Chapter 6

**Credit for the songs don't go to me, they go to If I Stay.**

Gramps was the one who took me to the Julliard audition.

It was originally going to be Gran, because mum and dad were busy, but she sprained her ankle a few weeks before, so Gramps was the only person left who could take me.

We sat in silence the entire way there, but I didn't mind, I was too nervous to talk, and Gramps isn't much of a talker anyway.

My heart was in my throat as I heard my name being called to go on stage.

Gramps gave me an encouraging pat on the shoulder.

I took a few deep breaths as I sat on the chair, ready to start. Wiping my sweaty hands on my skirt, I looked up at the ceiling.

Thank you Flynn.

The ceiling looked _exactly_ like the one Flynn had created in my room.

Returning to earth, I start to play.

I don't think I had ever played like that in my life.

It was as if my heart was beating the cello.

It kept pouring out of me, like I was on fire.

And then it was over.

I looked at the judges, terrified, panting to catch my breath.

As we pulled up outside my house, Gramps stopped me from getting out straight away.

"I just wanted to say, I watched your audition, from backstage. I didn't know if that cello was going to make it out alive!"

"I didn't know I had it in me." I laugh.

He laughs as well before continuing.

"Rapunzel, you have something special, your dad had it too. I never really made a fuss over his music, I didn't really like it, and so I want to make sure I don't make the same mistake twice. I watched you play your gut out there, so if those Julliard snobs don't let you in, then they are damn fools!"

"Thank you Gramps." I leaned over and gave him a tight squeeze.

The next day, I went to see Flynn at the House of Rock.

He was in the middle of singing something I assumed was new, when I arrived.

"_It wasn't even so, I'd play the odds,_

_I never want you to go,_

_But now I'm letting you go,_

_I just wanted to feel your life in me"_

I whoop and applaud when I realize he is finished.

"Oh hey!" Flynn puts his guitar down, and walked toward me, giving me a short, but sweet kiss on the lips.

"That was really good!" I praised him.

"Thanks, it's a work in progress!"

We walk outside, his arm slung around my shoulder.

"So how did it go? Did you kill the audition?" Flynn grinned at me.

"I guess you could say it went ok." I didn't want to go into details of how I lost myself while playing.

"Why didn't you call me after to brag?"

"I thought that…" I bit my tongue, not wanting to finish the sentence.

"We're not going to fight! Rapunzel, i'm proud of you!" he reassured me.

"I'm proud of you too, with the band and all." He kissed my temple.

"What are we going to do? If you get in?" Flynn asked the question on both of our minds.

"There's a very slim chance I will get in, there's about a hundred other kids who want to get in."

"But if you do!" Flynn pressed.

"Then-"I didn't know what to say.

"If you do get in, is the decision already made?" Flynn asked, though from the look in his eyes, I could tell he already knew.

"Probably."

"Rapunzel, I'm not going to be that ass hole of a boyfriend who stops you from going to Julliard, if the tables were turned you'd let me go." Flynn stops us, and takes my hands in his.

On New Year 's Eve, Flynn got rather drunk, and snogged my face off, the way Ariel and Eric do, when the clock chimed twelve.

"Promise me…" he started.

"I promise…"

"No matter where you are, no matter where I head, we'll spend next new year's together." He finished.

"Flynn, even if I do go to Julliard, we'll still talk-"

"No, not Skype, not texting, together. That way I can eat your face." He joked, moving a few strands of hair out of my face.

Eventually, I gave in and promised.

When I got home, Willow and Henry where in the kitchen, chatting away with mum and dad.

Mum took one look at me, and shooed everyone out.

As soon as everyone was gone, mum wrapped her arms round me and let me cry into her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, screw this huh?" I pull back.

"Come on, I'll wash, you dry." She walks me over to the sink, where a tub of hot water filled with dishes is waiting for us.

"We had this great year and a half together, and know we're just, moving in opposite directions."

"Must be inconvenient to fall in love at your age, especially if it's the real thing." Mum understands me more than anyone, even Ariel.

"How do I decide this? I really want to go to Julliard, but I love Flynn."

Mum stops washing a plate and turns to look at me, straight on.

"He's not stopping you from going to Julliard is he?" mum's voice rises in alarm.

"No! He seems calm about the whole thing."

"Well then, you decide, I'll support you either way, if you go to Julliard and play the hell out of your cello, or if you stay with Flynn. Either way you win, or either way you lose. Life is this big, fat, gigantic, stinking mess, but that's the beauty of it too, you know?" she raises her eyebrows at me, grinning from ear to ear.

The next day, mum and Pascal went out to the supermarket, leaving me and dad alone in the house.

We listened to one of his old CD's.

"Dad, can I ask you something?"

"Always!" he replies cheerily, looking up from the school work he is marking.

"Do you ever miss being in the band?"

"What's brought this up?"

"I don't know, I just always wondered."

"Well if you must know, I wanted a new adventure. And I wanted to become a better dad."

"But you were already a great dad when you were in the band, why quit for us?"

"Well I outlived that dream, it was time to start a one with my family. Look honey, sometimes you make choices in life, and sometimes choices make you. Does that make any sense?" dad asked.

"Yeah, I guess I always thought the cello was a choice that made me, seen as how I'm the odd one out in the family."

"There, you see, we don't control everything in our lives." Dad gave me a cocky smile.

Xxx

After Gramps leaves, my cousins come into see me, along with Anna's boyfriend Kristoff.

I am slightly annoyed at the fact that my cousins boyfriend gets to see me, before my own.

But then I remember what I have to do.

I can't stay without my family.

But I'll let people say goodbye before I go.

After my cousins, Flynn's band mates, Naveen, Shang and Cinderella come to see me.

I overheard that Flynn left when my social worker said I was allowed visitors, saying he would be back soon, and that he asked his friends to come visit me.

Finally, Ariel is here.

Eric was with her at first, but she asked for him to give us some privacy.

"So many people have come today, I have lost count. Some are related to you, and some aren't, but, but we're your family. You still have a family, Rapunzel." She begins to sob.

Ariel reaches into her bag and pulls out her camera.

After she has turned it on and fiddled with it, she turns it round to face me.

There is a picture of me. I'm not looking at the camera, more looking next to it, whilst playing the cello.

"This is my favourite picture of you, you just look so happy. And no matter what that's how I will always remember you." She is full on crying now.

It's from a bonfire we once had, it was the best day ever.

It was before things started going bad with Flynn, some of dads old band mates came over, and so did Pascal's best friend, Max. I invited Flynn, Ariel and Eric. Mum didn't invite anyone seen as how she didn't really get on with anyone at work, but she did invite Willow and Henry.

We had barbecue food, and just mucked around, having a good time.

By the end of the night, Pascal and Max were having a sugar rush.

As we sat around the bonfire, dad whispered something into Flynn's ear.

They said they went to get more beers, but when they came back, they were holding my Cello.

"No way, I'm not playing for you guys!" I argued, as Ariel and I walked up to them.

"Not _for _us, _with us_!" dad held my bow.

"If you don't I will, and I'm sure you don't want to listen to a strangled cat." Ariel joked.

"Come on Blondie, I have my guitar." Flynn added.

"I really hate you." I told them as I took my cello and bow, going back to my seat.

Flynn started to play on his guitar, and after a while I joined in on the cello.

"_Today is the greatest, day I've ever known,_

_Can't wait for tomorrow, tomorrows much too long,_

_I'll burn my eyes out, before I get out,"_

Everyone else started to join in, but I didn't really join in till we were at the chorus.

"_Today is the greatest, day I've ever known_

_Can't wait for tomorrow, tomorrows much too long,_

_I'll rip my heart out, before I get out."_

I had always thought of the cello as a solo instrument, I guess that was why it always made me feel so comfortable.

Just me and my cello.

But that night, I realized I was wrong.

The cello is part of a group, it's not meant to be on its own.

I wished that night would never end, but it probably won't happen again, not like that.

Just like I could never exist again.


	7. Chapter 7

Nurse Gothel is here.

"How are you this morning? I'm surprised you're still here, but also thankful. You've got quite a crowd, they all want you to stay. So you need to decide." with that, she turns on her heel and leaves.

Everyone slept in the waiting room overnight, not that many people actually slept.

Where's Flynn?

He caused all that trouble to try and see me, and as soon as he gets the chance, he leaves.

Gran is wresting her head on Gramps shoulder, Ariel is doing the same with Eric, and you can tell they have all been crying.

A stab of guilt surges through me.

I know I can't stay, so why don't I go? Save them the tension of waiting, and the nurses the fuss.

Willow is biting her nails nervously, the coffee in her other hand is shaking, so Henry takes it off her and wraps his arms around her.

Flynn's band mates are still here, Snow came not long after they did. She and Cinderella are holding hands tightly, as if they won't let go.

I'm surprised when I see all four of their faces, they've all been crying! I don't really know Shang and Naveen as well as I know Cinderella and Snow, so I don't know if it's the situation they find upsetting, or if they just get emotional.

I walk out of the waiting room, and towards a large glass wall/ window.

Outside are large, bright green tree's, and of course the car park.

All of a sudden, Beethoven is playing.

I jump back, looking for the source of the sound.

There are no speakers, just walls.

Where is it coming from?

Without realizing, I run back the way I came.

Flynn is in the ICU.

"Flynn, you're here." I breath a sigh of relief.

He has placed headphones over my ears, and has an IPod in his hands.

As soon as Beethoven is finished, he takes the headphones off, and takes my hand in both of his.

A probably goofy grin crosses my face, as he blows warm air into my hand.

I can't actually feel it, but still.

My stomach drops, I know what he's going to say.

"Rapunzel..." he whispers, looking at my lifeless hand.

"Don't." I can't hear this now, i've made my decision.

"Stay." With that one word, tears start falling down his face.

"I'm not dumb enough to think that I can fix what happened, but I will do anything, I can't lose you."

My stomach drops even more.

"I went to your house, and I had to climb up the balcony to get in like I used to. And I found this." Flynn reaches into his jacket pocket.

He pulls out a cream envelope.

Julliard.

I take another step toward him.

"Hope you aren't to mad that I broke and entered." he smiles faintly.

All I can do is watch as he opens up the envelope.

He takes a moment to scan through it, then his face drops even more.

"Dear Miss Rapunzel, it gives me great pleasure-" he places his hand over his mouth to prevent a large sob.

"Rapunzel you got in." he sniffs.

A ray of hope works through my stomach.

I got in.

"Rapunzel you did it, you got into Julliard." he puts the letter down and holds my hand again.

"If you want me to go with you I will. I'll quit the band, move with you to New York. But I was talking to Cinderella and she said, that maybe coming back to your old life would be too hard, that you might need to shut us out. And that would hurt like hell, but I'd do it, for you."

"I'll do whatever you want, just please stay." he starts to shake my hand slightly.

"I can't, you know I can't." I weep.

"You're my home Rapunzel. I don't care where we are, I just care that we're together. I know that now. I will do anything if you stay." his voice is a whisper by the time he gets to the end of the sentence.

He reaches under his chair and pulls out his guitar.

"Still kinda working on this thing but..." he clears his throat and starts to play.

"You wrote me a song?" I stand on the opposite side of the bed, so I can see him face on.

"_Baby, baby,_

_know that i'm here, know that i'm here, waiting,_

_stay strong, stay tall,_

_you don't have to fear, you don't have to fear, waiting,_

_i'll see you soon, i'll see you soon,_

_how could a heart like yours, ever love a heart like mine,_

_how could I live before-"  
_A sharp pain goes through me, as if someone has just stabbed me in the back.

Suddenly, i'm with Flynn, when he taught me how to use his skateboard.

I'm gripping onto his arms, that same pain in my stomach.

"Blondie? Rapunzel, what's wrong?" he asks.

Now i'm with Pascal, mum and dad, we're faffing around in our front garden.

I scream in pain, clutching my stomach.

"What's wrong sweetie?" mum asks, putting a hand on my shoulder.

Flynn is still singing, but I can also hear the cello.

Whoever is playing it sounds terrible, their grinding the bow across the strings, resulting in a screech, not a symphony, but it also sounds like my heart monitor.

Then i'm with Ariel.

She's picked up two leaves, and is mystically moving them up and down in front of her face.

I fall to the ground from the pain.

"Rapunzel, what's wrong?" she asks.

Everything everyone has said today, roams my mind.

"You still have a family, Rapunzel."

"With everybody gone, it might be too hard for you too keep fighting, but I want you to live."

"I will do anything if you stay."  
"Here's the secret baby, if you live, if you die, it's all up to you, so whatever fight you've got in you, you've gotta pull it out now."

"That kids waking up an orphan, if she wakes up."

The cello's bow drops to the floor, and everything go's black.

For the first time today, I can actually feel something.

Flynn is still holding my hand, he is resting his forehead on it as well, his tears dripping on me, one by one.

He must have heard my deep breathing, because the next thing I know, his chair screeches against the floor.

"Rapunzel?" he asks.

**If you want me to do an epilogue, please ask below and i'll see what I can do.**

**But, there is a sequel to the 'If I Stay' book, which I have read, and am currently re-reading, it is taken from the boy, Adams, POV, so if you want me to do that, ask below.**

**It is set three years after this story, just to let you know.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Some people wanted an epilogue, others didn't, so I decided to please those who do, but this might also help with the sequel.**

First, I was taken of the ventilator, then one by one, I was un-plugged.

My family and friends still visited, and if I had the strength, I would squeeze their hand, if I had the strength.

Flynn was the only one who continued to say, _"Stay."_

I guess whoever was meant to be convincing them, wasn't convincing him.

The day after I could breath independently, he came to visit.

Nurses had to take him out the day before, he had been with me for too long, but they said he could come again tomorrow.

He continued to hold my hand, and say mushy, reassuring things.

Things like, "I'm still here, and i'm crazy in love with you, please stay."

When I did wake up, poor gramps picked the short straw, and had to tell me about my family.

Even though I already knew, I hated being reminded.

My social worker, Elinor, came in and told me about all the surgeries I had to have.

After a few months, I was on my way to Julliard.

I hated myself for leaving Flynn, he had insisted on coming with me, but I had refused, the band was really important to him, I didn't want to be responsible for making him leave.

At first, we Skyped everyday, and emailed whenever we could.

After a month or so, we started to lose contact, we were both really busy, with his band getting more famous by the day.

Then there was no contact at all.

This was how I hoped it would happen, silently, without us realizing, then, all at once.

Flynn had never really been happy with the whole long-distance thing, but after the accident, he seemed to realize it was better then not being together at all.

I had thought we'd be together forever, but I was wrong.


End file.
